Shareer Apna, Adhikaar Apne

“Young girls in our village are raised only to become mothers.”

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We are very happy to share with you ‘Shareer Apna, Adhikaar Apne – A Youth-Led Report on Policy Recommendations to ensure Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE) for Young People in Uttar Pradesh’.

The report is part of a two-year pilot programme supported by the John. D and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation that addresses the need to strengthen CSE within Life Skills and Sexual and Reproductive Health (SRH) Information programmes for young people in Uttar Pradesh and was developed jointly by The YP Foundation (TYPF) and SAHAYOG with technical support from UNESCO India was released as part of a State Level Dialogue held on 26th August, 2013 in Jai Shanker Prasad Hall, Qaiserbagh, Lucknow.

The report shares the experiences and recommendations from a State-Level Consultation held in 2011 that engaged with 52 youth activists and leaders from 19 districts whose programmes are reaching out to 1,96,905 beneficiaries in Uttar Pradesh. It has been designed as a tool for young people to advocate with state and national-level policymakers and government officials for the inclusion and/or strengthening of Comprehensive Sexuality Education within existing policies and programmes that address adolescent and young people’s sexual and reproductive health.

The report is a reflection of the voices and aspirations of young people who have been leading SRH interventions with their peers at community level, articulating their views, opinions and recommendations on the need for CSE within the state.

“The right to compulsory health services should be available through constitution. Govt. doesn’t give any charity, as it has to give us our rights according to constitution.”

– M/22 years (Varanasi)

“It’s important to get full information on health. Otherwise you will not be able to prevent yourself from getting diseases. This is what worries me.”

– M/24 years (Barabanki)

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We hope that this report, available both in Hindi and English, can be used to advance platforms for dialogue between young people with policy makers, government officials, media, civil society and key stakeholders at community, district and state level and could be useful to the work you are doing. The report can also be downloaded from here.

“Young people need to be empowered to advocate for this information within their homes, so that parents can become strong allies. Participants in the consultation indicated the desire to have the opportunity to address religious conservatism in their own communities. There was positivity, willingness and an excitement amongst participants to be able to take these discussions forward and tackle the challenges that the same would bring.”

We hope you can find the time to go through the report and share your feedback with us, we would deeply appreciate your inputs and advice on the same.

UP-Report-Feature-ImageDownload your copy of the report now from the link below!

Download the report (English, PDF)
Download the report (Hindi, PDF)

Photos from the Report Launch

Press

Please download the press release below and click on the press clippings to read what’s been written about the report in the media.

Press release, August 26, 2013

Jun 2013 03

-Peer Educator, 20, Know Your Body, Know Your Rights

I had a normal childhood where my parents never cringed before using the proverbial stick on me whenever I strayed from a path to be followed. Safe to say, this happened in every classmate’s house. Now when I see memes with a pair of rubber slippers and a tiny line underneath saying ‘If you remember this, your childhood was not awesome’, I know it was a regular affair that people can now make light of.

I was beaten with iron scales when I could not memorize facts for my science exam in 5th grade and I was beaten with a walking stick when I lied about using my mother’s makeup. I believe that was the major reason why I was a bully as a child. I would beat up people I liked, disliked or did not even care for. When I think of it now, with the reasoning skills of a supposed adult, I believe the reason I was physically abusive to other children was because I thought that beating people up when they committed a small mistake was normal because figures of authority I had seen did it.

The moment the beatings started seeping into my adolescent life was when I knew something was wrong. That was when it turned into physical abuse, emotional abuse and verbal abuse. I was beaten up for the smallest of things like not keeping my shoes in the proper place. I was called a prostitute for touching a boy on the shoulder. I was spit on; I was thrown around by my hair and locked in a room till I accepted wrongdoings that I had never done. I did not know what to do, where to go. I was never an introvert but when I started understanding that what was happening to me was not usual, I bent inward. I became suicidal and that was the phase of my life when everything seemed wrong and that is also the point in my life where I look back and hate myself. I would go to school with bruises and swollen jaws almost every other week and I could not explain it to my friends in school and later college.

I hated the girl I had become. She hated everything, had extreme mood swings, had no tolerance, harmed herself and most importantly did not do anything about what was happening to her. I tried talking it out with the perpetrator, I tried talking to friends, I tried hitting back, I tried to change myself but I never complained to someone who could actually do something about it. But by speaking out today maybe I can salvage a little of the person beneath all the hurt and the pain my childhood and also a part of my adulthood left behind. By speaking today, I want to tell people suffering from such abuse to not ignore it or think of it as a phase, not speaking about it will only give leeway to the perpetrator to exercise more control over you. It is essential to try as much as you can to resolve matters on your own but if it makes no difference you should speak out about it. However traumatic this may have been for you, it is NOT your fault and you have the right and the capability to lead a normal, happy, and successful life. Do not pity yourself, you are more than a victim of abuse, you are your own person and you are what you make of yourself.

According to Section 89 of the Penal Code, “Nothing which is done in good faith for the benefit of a person under twelve years of age, or of unsound mind by or by consent, either express or implied, of the guardian or other person having lawful charge of that person, is an offence by reason of any harm which it may cause, or be intended by the doer to cause or be known by the doer to be likely to cause to that person.…”

There have been several attempts to amend this but none have been successful. The Ministry of Women and Child Development, in 2012, proposed that there be amendments in the Juvenile Justice Act which would also contain a section on corporal punishment, giving a definition to and punishing offences of causing hurt and grievous hurt in line with the Penal Code provisions. But if the proposed amendments will prohibit all corporal punishment, including inside the home, cannot be said.

This act of violence and the thoughts and trauma that victims need to overcome can easily be avoided, if only the law would make a provision for it. There is an urgent need to expand our collective and legislative definition of Domestic Violence. We need to acknowledge that violence of any kind is wrong; because it has severe mental consequences and it is as much an infringement of rights as any other form of violence. All forms of violence that are now looked down upon were legitimized to begin with. This too is an example. We must shun corporal punishment completely. Look down upon it like you look down upon domestic violence, because it is violence that occurs inside the domestic framework. Do not keep quiet about it. If you see someone being wronged in this manner, speak about it. Rally for a provision to punish corporal punishment in the Penal Code; ask for an addition in the Domestic Violence Act 2005 for thirteen to eighteen year old individuals and a change in the mindsets of people. Bring a change that will impact not only the future generation but all the past generations that have seen it happen but have never given it enough importance. Any kind of violence, even if the perpetrator is the lawful guardian, is wrong. Period.

 

 

Apr 2013 10

By Arunima Gururani, 19

Peer Educator- Know Your Body, Know Your Rights

 

Premarital sex is an issue which most people refuse or shudder to talk about. It is sadly, still a taboo in a society that is secular, globalised and calls itself modern. Now, what exactly is premarital sex? Premarital sex involves the various sexual activities performed by unmarried individuals. However, the definition of it has evolved over time and can thus be put as ‘sex before marriage’. Premarital sex was considered a sin, and in fact, still is, among certain groups. Each society, however, interprets sexuality and sexual activity in different ways. Around the world, there are different attitudes towards various aspects relating to sexual behaviour like premarital sex, homosexuality, age of sexual consent, masturbation etc. In old times, people’s views on sexuality and sexual behaviour were influenced by religion, but today, these views are mostly socialized. Through studies and research it has been discovered that the instances of premarital sex has increased over the years. Historically and culturally, many people did not prefer sex before marriage due to the notion of it being immoral. The most obvious of these; religious groups – like sects of Christianity, Judaism, Islam and Hinduism- consider premarital sex to be an act of sin and something that deserves punishment. [i]A study of 37 countries reported that non-Western societies—like China, Iran, and India—valued chastity highly in a potential mate, while Western European countries—such as France, the Netherlands, and Sweden—placed little value on prior sexual experiences. Sweden is thought to be the most liberal when it comes to attitudes about sex. Sex education, which starts around age six, is a compulsory part of Swedish school curricula. Sweden’s permissive approach to sex has helped the country avoid some of the major social problems associated with stigmatization of sexual activity. For example, rates of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease are among the lowest in the world.
We conducted a survey with the students studying in Delhi in an attempt to know what the views of young people are, regarding premarital sex. After analyzing the results, we found both males and females reacting to different questions differently (obviously!). However, what prominently stood out was that a majority of the young people in Delhi who have access to higher education did not consider premarital sex to be a taboo and something to be damned for and judged upon. When speaking of the ‘moral acceptance’ of premarital sex, the majority of both males and females said that it is a matter of choice. What also mattered to them was the consent. What was also novel was the focus on safe sex. Many of them also disagreed on the various norms of society such as pre-marital sex having a negative impact on future relationships and issues of love and morality pertaining that is often linked to it.
However there was a difference in opinion when it came to the influence on gender on the issue of premarital sex even within the privileged sample group that our survey targeted. A large section of women said that gender does influence their opinion. “In our society, women traditionally are perceived to be chaster and hence they are not open or willing to the concept of premarital sex”, was one of the answers by a young woman. The males on the other hand, were in a conundrum regarding this, with half of them agreeing and half of them disagreeing.

Another area of difference arose on the question of women indulging in premarital sexual activities. Again, a majority of women said that it is less acceptable. “Women are always taught to protect their ‘virtue’ and virginity is seen as a value” was one of the responses that supported the analysis. Out of the total number of males, most of them were fine with the whole idea of women getting into premarital sex and found it in no way unacceptable.

[ii]Recently, the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt has claimed that a UN declaration calling for an end to violence against women will lead to the “complete disintegration of society”. The past few days, at the UN’s Commission on the Status of Women (CSW) in New York have been spent debating the wording of a declaration that would condemn violence against women. However, the brotherhood slated the declaration by calling it a decadent and destructive document that undermined Islamic ethics by calling for women to work, travel and use contraception without their husbands’ permission. The brotherhood’s statement claimed; “This declaration, if ratified, would lead to complete disintegration of society, and would certainly be the final step in the intellectual and cultural invasion of Muslim countries, eliminating the moral specificity that helps preserve cohesion of Islamic societies.” But, it is not just the brotherhood who has voiced their objections. Countries such as the Vatican, Pakistan, Iran, Syria and Russia have led the conservative response.

Now the question that springs up is “To what extent? To what extent can religion influence and dictate everything we do?” This interpretation pretty much completely denies a woman of her freedoms. Why should a woman not work or travel? And, why in any situation must she ask permission from her husband for using contraception? It is her body, and it is her right. The claims made by the brotherhood, simply question true and clear logic along with the identity and basic human rights of a woman. [iii]When it comes to Hinduism, on one hand, it talks about devout persons who rejected all physical pleasure and comfort as an obstacle to the eventual union with the Supreme Perfect Being. On the other hand, many famous and sexually explicit works of art and architecture testify to the celebration of sexual pleasure. One of the best known early sex manuals, the Kamasutra {written in the 2nd century B.C.), treats sexual intercourse as a means of spiritual enrichment and thus is a legitimate expression of Hindu culture.

In a country like India, where there exists a taboo when it comes to sex, sexuality education is very important. The issue of including it in classrooms has seemed to evoke various responses from politicians. Some responded positively to it, while some were against it as it was against the ‘Indian culture’. However, the example of Sweden clearly portrays the impact of giving sex education at an early age. So, maybe it’s time for people to ‘grow up’ and be open to sexuality education and treat it as something very natural. The idea of sex should not be talked about in a disgusting way, but should be discussed as a normal and healthy practise. If sex as a taboo can be removed then it would be easier for ‘society’ to open up to the idea of premarital sex as well.

However, speaking of such a sensitive issue, the decisions pertaining to it should be a matter of choice and not religious or moral faith. One’s sexuality is one’s own and all the decisions made regarding it should be of the individual and not governed by societal notions and religious preaching. Everyone should and must be open to exploring their sexuality in their own way without any fear or hesitation.

Mar 2013 31

by Bani Bains

19, Peer Educator- Know Your Body, Know Your Rights.

 

For all those who don’t know me (yes, there is a sizable population that doesn’t), my name is Vagina. I exist in the bodies of most women, and yet so many of them blush, giggle, snigger or feel embarrassed at the mention of my name. This is one of the countless things that scare me. I perform some of the most vital functions of the female body, yet most people are ashamed to utter my name in public. Our names are bad, abusive words – definitely not words children should be hearing or reading of.

Another thing that scares me to no end is the fact that so many women, (including the one writing this) don’t know exactly where I am located in their own bodies. Many times, I am just clubbed in with other organs between the thighs and we are collectively called ‘Genitalia’. It scares me that so few people know us by our own individual names, and so few people actually care enough to give it a second thought.

I am so scared because many a times, the only reason why teenagers would take my name would be to joke among their peers. The roots of my fear are people’s mindsets. The appendix, which performs absolutely no function in the human body, is given more respect than I am. I wish I could reach out to people to whose bodies I belong, and even to those whose bodies I don’t. I wish I could tell them what an absolute and significant role I played in THEIR creation.

My name is Vagina, and I am the most understated organ of the female body. My name is Vagina, and my fears are countless. My name is Vagina, and I look forward to the day when people will be able to speak it out in public. My name is Vagina, and I wish for people to believe I am beautiful.My name is vagina and I am scared of the world I exist in, the indifferent bodies I live in. My name is Vagina and I want to be talked about, not repressed.

My name is Vagina and I need you to start talking about me and drive my fears away.

 (This article is inspired by the women and girls I have met at the several workshops that I facilitated as part of the Know Your Body; Know Your Rights program at The YP Foundation. Most of these girls had very vague ideas about what a vagina is, what it does and other related concepts like menstruation, masturbation, childbirth and reproduction. The dire need to celebrate sexuality, celebrate our bodies in the society we live in stands to be the biggest challenge for us, as advocates of Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE). Writing about the vagina and giving it a voice makes me feel half a step closer to fulfilling this cause.)

Mar 2013 05

Rape0

Posted In Blog

By Noble Varghese and Swetha Shekar

 

 “Rape is horrible”, says Sohaila Abdulali who was gang-raped when she was 17. “But not for the reasons that have been drilled into our heads. It is horrible because you are violated, you are scared, someone else takes control of your body and hurts you in the most intimate way.”  

Somewhere amongst the loud protests, the water cannons, the demands for castration, the death penalty and justice, and ‘dented and painted’ remarks, we forgot what rape does to a person. The person is left to deal with the stigma of her ‘honour’ being taken from her. Why are we like this? Why do we treat our rape victims like they deserved what was coming to them? Most importantly, how do we change this attitude towards victims that threatens to keep us locked in fear and shame?

Let us, for a moment, track back to the time when the six youths who brutally gang-raped Jyothi on December 16th; were growing up in their hometowns. Let us imagine that they had all lived and played and studied in an environment where women were respected; where their mothers were given the same say in decisions as their fathers; where women were not beaten up or treated as second class citizens in their own homes; where a father would not hang himself to death in shame if his daughter was raped, but instead support her, and make sure her perpetrators were punished; where the state made sure the perpetrators were punished; where they were given spaces where they were allowed to speak openly, along with girls, about their sexuality; their questions given importance and answered truthfully and openly; and where their women were allowed to, and felt safe to, go out in public whenever they wanted to, wearing whatever they wanted to, and not be termed a slut who was inviting rape. Let us imagine these six youths, growing up – mingling, playing, fighting, and then making up with girls, just like they did with their other male friends. Where they were allowed to do so and not told that it was taboo to mingle with girls as soon as they turned 13. Would Jyothi still be alive? Would that ordinary December night for the couple, that turned into the most brutal they could ever imagine, have been something different?

Now let us imagine our politicians, public figures, spiritual gurus and policemen also having grown up in such an environment? Would they make statements like blaming the victim for eating fast food, using cell phones, wearing western clothes, going out at night with a man or of not being married? We live in a society that “…believes the worst aspect of rape is the defilement of the victim, who will no longer be able to find a man to marry her –”. Take for example the case of Aruna Shaunbag who was brutally raped and choked with a dog chain in Nov 1973 and has been lying in a persistent vegetative state since. The Dean of the hospital where she was working concealed the event of rape during her autopsy fearing social rejection. As a result, her culprit was never charged for the rape, only assault and robbery. Or take the case of the 16-year old in Dabra, Haryana whose father drank pesticide and killed himself when he came to know that his daughter had been gang raped. Or of Sohaila Abdulali herself, who, when she went to report her rape to the police, was instead asked what she was wearing and what she was doing out with a boy alone?

Where does it all stop? Perhaps we should be asking where it all starts. For it is easy for the loud noises and the protests to die down and for the horrible gang rape to become just another headline that we read years ago. It is not the past we need to look at but our future; not at what has happened but at what can be changed. The youth that is growing up, formed by the hands of their environment like a potter moulds his clay. That is where the work lies. To educate them, teach them and give them freedom to talk about sexuality and their rights. To make them understand that a woman’s virtue “does not lie in her vagina” but in her mind. This is where it all starts. The mind. Attitude. Perception. That is what we need to change.

Young people play a pivotal role in initiating conversations which have the potential to lead to behavioural and attitudinal change. A good way to do this is to actively question established norms. Another way to do this would be to provide the young person access to unbiased scientific information pertaining to their Sexual Health and Rights.

We, at the Know Your Body, Know Your Rights branch at The YP Foundation believe in open and participatory conversations around sexuality and thus, have peer education programmes where young people from diverse backgrounds are trained. These young people have initiated community level campaigns to intitate conversations about the issues they feel strongly about including sexual violence.

This is our story. Write to us to see how you can get involved in combating sexual violence and attacking the problem at its root.

Delhi Queer Pride Parade 2011
Dec 2011 07

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Disclaimer: The photographs were shot during Delhi Queer Pride Parade on 27th November 2011. The photo essay is being published online and will be circulated for non-commercial purposes. If your photograph is in the album and you wish to get it removed, please email Rachit Sai Barak at rachitsbarak@gmail.com

Lessons Learnt
Nov 2011 26

I cry, I dance. I laugh, I talk.
I love, I lie. I am a young person.
I understand, I care.
I realize, I reflect, I respond.
Because if I don’t, who will?

Aam Sabha, September 2011 

I have always thought about the need to know everything and be aware. However, awareness, in the definitive sense, has a broad purview, and this thought has always been accompanied by a probing question – if change needs to be made, is awareness solely enough? And so I carried many more questions like this, along with me to the very first ‘Aam Sabha’ of The YP Foundation.

When I entered I saw three corners set up in the hall on three different topics and young people like me walking around and trying to decide, as if going through the menu in a restaurant, looking around what food for thought they want to take back home – whether from the “Alternative Sexual Identities” by Maria Mehra, from “Safe Spaces” by Prabhleen Tuteja from ‘Safe Delhi Campaign- of the NGO Jagori” or from “Sexual and Reproductive Rights” by Anusha Hariharan from the queer collective ‘Nigah’.

The ‘Aam Sabha’ started with an ice-breaker where we had to gather into different groups in order to yell words that made us uncomfortable, out loud. Never in my life had I yelled the words penis, vagina and clitoris so loud. All this had already built up a curiosity in me, I knew I wanted to be a part of all the three sessions and so I decided to divide my time to all three topics accordingly.

Maria Mehra, a dynamic transgender woman, asked us in the session to close our eyes and listen to her voice. She told us that she had always had a feminine voice, that when she was a boy, her voice never cracked to acquire the baritone that we usually identify with masculinity. Our eyes still closed, she asked us to raise our hands if we still thought her to be a man or deserved to be identified as one.

A moment later, we opened our eyes, and looked around. Not one person had raised their hand, and it was in this silent agreement that our session with Maria began. In a society where gender roles are set in stone and anyone who fails to come under the “male” or “female” tag is just thought of as abnormal. The session went ahead with all of us getting acquainted with trials that people like her face in the world, from the difficulty to use public bathrooms as neither gender accepts them as their own, to the confusion while writing their gender in a government form. We listened with rapt attention as she told us about how she was blatantly rejected at a job recruitment agency because she was, well, ‘different’.

On the adjacent corner, the session on Safe Spaces by Prabhleen Tuteja addressed issues that I could relate to on a very close basis, and experiences that I encounter every day. Many a times while travelling alone in the city, when it gets a little dark, certain dimly lit and the not-so-busy areas tend to make me nervous, even if I’m familiar with the place; and the tag of “Unsafe City for Women” on Delhi/NCR doesn’t help! In the discussion, our group was further divided into three sub-groups and each sub-group was given a certain ‘identity’, like- a girl in her early 20’s from the North-East or a 20 year old boy carrying a lot of cash, and so on. We were to come to a consensus on how safe or unsafe a particular area in a typical Delhi neighbourhood (areas like a Temple, an ATM, a park, a college etc.) was for these different identities. It made us realise how certain problems affect different kinds of people differently, how one needed to look at things from the point of view of different people around us.

The last session was on “Sexual and Reproductive Rights” by Anusha Hariharan from Nigah Foundation.  Anusha began the session by asking a question on what one means by a “relationship”. My first thought was that relationships could hold different meanings to different people. It can mean love to some or sex to others, or may pertain to friendship. As the discussion moved further I realised how the society moulds us to believe in a very narrow way, how the definition of a romantic relationship gets limited only to the one which exists between people of the opposite sex and dismisses any romantic relationship between two men or two women. It is affirmatively classified as unnatural.
Now I come back to my original question – is “Awareness” solely enough? We are an aware generation but still somewhere there is a sense of indifference in all of us, we know about people like Maria, who knows 7 different languages, and has a lot of  potential, but is not able to enjoy the opportunities that we are bestowed with because well, she is “different”. Again, we don’t really want to take the pain of raising our voice in their support.
In my own city, which I am constantly reminded of by all ‘keep your city neat and clean’ banners, after a certain time I do not feel safe because I belong to the gender which society has shaped into a vulnerable one.I am aware of the issues and problems around me, most of us are, but the point here lies in the fact that knowing isn’t enough, getting up and doing something about it is what we need. Taking action requires a space to talk, which allows one to project her/his thoughts. We don’t only need ‘safe spaces’ for our bodies but also for our thoughts.
  – Aditi Annapurna, 18 years
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Reclaiming Our Choices is a loosely affiliated group of concerned individuals and organizations that seek to address issues of gender, sexuality, health and rights by initiating, facilitating, participating and supporting an action-oriented campaign in Delhi. It is supported by UNESCO, in collaboration with Equal India, Must Bol, NAZ (India) Foundation, Queer Campus, and The YP Foundation. With the understanding that empowerment carries different meanings in diverse situations we do not aim to guide any movement. Rather, we seek to facilitate one part of a larger conversation. We hope that through a de-centralized campaign flowing from the hearts and minds of youth across the city, challenging, exciting, and unexpected results will follow.

Aam Sabha’  held on 12 September 2011 was an initiative by ‘Reclaiming Our Choices’. The event was a discussion modelled on the concept of a ‘town hall’ on themes of sexuality and rights, alternative sexual identities and orientations, public safety and violence and involving young people in these discussions.

The Way Forward-

The campaign would move forward by forming and organizing events on lines similar to this “Aam Sabha” and by using interactive mediums like movie screenings across the city with the support of the partner organisations, professionals and participants in the following months.

मैंने हमेशा सब कुछ जान ने और हर सांसारिक गतिविधि से अवगत रहने को एहमियत दी है . पर जागरूकता की परिभाषा कुछ दायरों में सीमित न रह कर अनेक रूप ले लेती है और यही विचार मुझे सोचने पर मजबूर करता है के अगर परिवर्तन होना चाहिए तो क्या सिर्फ जागरूकता ही काफी है ? और ऐसे ही तमाम सवाल अपने दिल में लिए मैं वाई. पी. फौन्देशन की पहली ‘आम सभा ‘ में गयी .

जैसे ही मैंने प्रवेश किया , मैंने तीन अलग कोनो में अपने जैसे युवाओ को एक समूह में बैठा पाया जहाँ वे तीन अलग विषयो पर विचार विमर्श कर रहे थे और कई लोग यह निर्णय ले पाने में असक्षम थे कि किस समूह में बैठा जाये . एक तरफ मारिया मेहरा ‘वैकल्पिक यौनिक पहचान ‘ पर अपने विचार प्रकट कर रही थीं तो दूसरी तरफ ‘जागोरी ‘ कि प्रभ्लीन टुटेजा ने ‘सुरक्षित स्थल ‘ पर एक रोचक वार्तालाप से सबका ध्यान आकर्षित कर रखा था . ‘निगाह ‘ कि अनुषा हरिहरन ने ‘यौनिक एवं प्रजनन अधिकार ‘ के विषय पर चर्चा को दिलचस्प बनाय रखा.

‘आम सभा ‘ कि शुरुआत एक रोचक आइस – ब्रेकर से की गयी जहाँ हमे अलग अलग समूहों में खड़े हो कर उन शब्दों को जोर से बोलना था जिनको बोलने में हम अक्सर हिचकिचाते हैं . अपनी ज़िन्दगी में आज तक मैंने कभी भी लिंग , योनी या टितनी जैसे शब्द इतनी ऊंची आवाज़ में चीख कर नहीं कहे थे . इन सब के कारण मेरे अन्दर आगे होने वाले क्रियाकलापों को लेकर उत्सुकता काफी बढ़ गयी और मैंने निर्णय लिया के मैं तीनो समूहों में होने वाली चर्चा का हिस्सा बनूंगी .

मारिया मेहरा , जो की एक सक्रिय प्रगतिशील विप्रित्लिंगी महिला हैं , ने हमसे अपनी आँखें बंद करके उनकी आवाज़ को गौर से सुन ने के लिए कहा . उन्होंने हम को बताया के उनकी आवाज़ हमेशा से ही एक औरत जैसी थी और जब वे एक लड़का थीं तो उनकी आवाज़ बाकी लडको की तरह नहीं फटी तथा उनकी आवाज़ में पुरुषो जैसा मध्यम स्वर नहीं आ पाया . हमारी आँखें बंद थीं और उन्होंने हमसे अपने हाथ ऊपर करने के लिए कहा अगर हम तब भी उनको एक पुरुष मानते थे या उनको एक पुरुष होने के योग्य समझते थे . कुछ पल बाद , हम ने अपनी आँखें खोली और देखा के किसी ने भी अपना हाथ ऊपर नहीं किया था और इसी शांत सहमति में मारिया ने चर्चा सत्र प्रारंभ किया . ऐसे समाज में , जहाँ लिंगो के कार्य -भार तथा भूमिका पत्थर की लकीर माने जाते हैं और जहाँ ‘स्त्री ‘ या ‘पुरुष ‘ के लेबल में न आ पाने वाला हर व्यक्ति तिरस्कार एवं उपहास का शिकार हो जाता है , वहां इस सत्र की एहमियत काफी बढ़ जाती है . हमारे वार्तालाप से हमे मारिया जैसे व्यक्तियों के आगे आने वाली कठिनाइयों के बारे में तो पता चला ही साथ ही उनको जिन परेशानियों का सामना करना पड़ता है उसे सुनकर हम सब हैरान थे – वे लोग सार्वजनिक शौचालयों का इस्तेमाल नहीं कर सकते क्योंकि दोनों ही लिंग उनको अपनाने से इंकार करते हैं और उनको सरकारी दस्तावेजों में लिंग भरने में भी जिस कशमकश का सामना करना पढता है उसे सुनकर हम सबको हैरानी भी हुई तथा एक प्रकार से समाज की रूडिवादी विचारधारा पर क्रोध भी आया . जब मारिया ने बताया कि उनको एक नौकरी भर्ती संसथान ने सिर्फ इसलिए अस्वीकृत कर दिया क्योंकि वे ‘अलग ‘ हैं , हम सब भौचक्के रह गए .
दुसरे कोने में , प्रभ्लीन टुटेजा ने ‘सुरक्षित स्थल ‘ पर जब बातचीत शुरू की तो मुझे अपने कई अनुभव याद आ गए और काफी चीज़ें मुझे अपने से सम्बंधित लगीं . कई बार अँधेरा हो जाने पर जानी -पहचानी जगहें भी सुनसान होने के कारण डरावनी लगती हैं और मेरे अन्दर एक अजीब सा डर आ जाता है , शायद इसलिए क्योंकि दिल्ली को औरतो के लिए एक असुरक्षित शहर माना जाता है . हमारे समूह को अनेक समूहों में बांटा गया और सभी को एक किस्म की ‘पहचान ‘ दी गयी , जैसे उत्तर -पूर्वी भारत से आई 20 साल की एक लड़की , 20 साल का लड़का जो पैसे लेकर जा रहा है और ऐसी ही अनेक ‘पहचाने ‘. हम इस निष्कर्ष पर पहुचे के दिल्ली का कोई इलाका कितना सुरक्षित या असुरक्षित है , चाहे वो हमारा गली -मोहल्ला , मंदिर , एय. टी.एम्., पार्क , कॉलेज या सिनेमा हॉल ही क्यों न हो . और इन जगहों की सुरक्षा को अलग अलग पहचानो के हिसाब से भी मापा गया . हमे एहसास हुआ की अलग पहचान के व्यक्तियों को एक परिस्थिति अलग अलग रूप से प्रभावित करती

Why comprehensive sexuality education?
Mar 2011 30

“What would be the quality of education without totality in the approach? If in Chemistry, one is taught the chemical properties of two elements, one is also taught that mixing the two would lead to a third compound. Scientific education builds up one’s logical reasoning. Why deprive an individual of the reasoning when it comes to Adolescence Education Programme? Give a young person the freedom to be able to access information and services and to make own informed choices. Stop human rights’ violation.”

Radhika Mathur, 21 , Jaipur

“Our leaders, both political and religious need to understand that rise in abortions, HIV use of contraceptives (which is in a way harmful due to continuous use) among young people is due to ban on sex related education. This is reality! Hope we will be heard politically and religiously.”

Peter F. Borges, 30 years (Human Touch), Nagpur

“Comprehensive sexuality education shouldn’t be about the biological, physical part of the act alone. It needs to encompass discussions on emotions, consent, safety and in this light be an avenue through which young people can discuss and shatter gender and sexual stereotypes that stifle our progress as intellectual beings.”

Mirna Guha, 23 years , Kolkata

“The hypocrisy surrounding sexuality education in India is mind-boggling. 50% of Indian children are sexually abused and Maharashtra has refused to move forward on a sexuality education curriculum. So we can have sex with kids, we just can’t talk to them about it? Boom.”

Ryan Beck Turner, 24 years, Pune

“Sexuality education is required not only to inform young people about safe sex and protection from HIV and STDs, but also to break the taboo around the issue, to make people comfortable about their body, identity and sexuality.”

Rachit Sai Barak, 19 , Gurgaon

<!--:en-->15 things about my sexuality – Part II<!--:--><!--:hi-->किशोरावस्था के दौरान होने वाले शारीरिक, मानसिक व भावनात्मक तथा सामाजिक परिवर्तन<!--:-->
Feb 2011 28

’15 things about my sexuality’

1) I don’t know what sexuality means. For me its my sexual state of mind. Or of body.

2) I am gay. Lesbian. Bisexual. Trans sexual. Pan sexual and straight. My sexuality changes everyday, hate the above mentioned words, I don’t like labels. I am all of the above and none of the above also. If you can like a different color everyday then why not sexual preference ?

3) I would love to call myself a sexual person even though I haven’t had sex ever. Sexuality and sex are different.

4) I became sexually active when I was 12 , with my first boyfriend. That was my first kiss, I don’t remember how it happened and why it happened.

5) I was molested when I was 15 by my science tutor. I was so upset that I could never tell my parents about it for a month and when I did it was worse. I did not let anyone touch me for 1 year after that.

6) I was in a 5 year long violent relationship with a man I loved – I never had the balls to get out of it, or stand up for myself. I never understood that verbal and physical abuse could mean violence. Now, I wish I go back in time and believe in myself more.

7) Boobs are the best part of my body, its also something people call me.

8) My entire school life till the 11th grade I was called a ‘whore’- because I would speak to guys and date them.

9) I believe in one night stands and I believe in relationships. I have had both, they remain special.

10) I watch porn, I like it. I am very open out it. The sophisticated people call it ‘yuck’. They don’t understand how porn can give you pleasure. Guess what? They don’t NEED to.

11) I believe in sex work. I prostitute my brain in my work place, there is nothing wrong in doing the same with you body.

12) If I get lots of money I will sleep with someone if they are hot and rich- no this isn’t for only money. You need feel pleasure in the work you do. And I like sex, a lot.

13) People try really hard not to judge me, to understand me and then they misinterpret me. Yes, the open minded people too. The open who claim to accept different sexuality and the same ones who talk about it.

14) In my past relationships, both with men and women I have been forced to have sex. But after the incidents mentioned above taught me how to say no.

15) You don’t define how I think, how I look, how I feel. I can think like a girl, look like a boy and feel think about both. I define my sexuality- I make it, change it, feel it, believe it and accept it.

Anonymous, 20, Delhi

िशोरावस्था वह समय है, जब मानव अपना बचपन छोड़कर जवानी की दहलीज पर कदम रखता है। इस समय बालक और बालिका से युवक और युवती बनने की प्रक्रिया शुरू होती है। यह 10 से 19 वर्ष की अवस्था है। इस दौरान बहुत सारे परिवर्तन होते है। ये परिवर्तन मस्तिष्क में स्थित पिटयुटरी ग्लेंड के स्त्राव के कारण होता है जो हारमोन्स की क्रियाशीलता के फलस्वरूप है। इन्हीं हार्मोन्स के कारण किशोरावस्था के शारीरिक भावनात्मक व सामाजिक परिवर्तन होते है।

सामान्य तौर पर लड़कियों में 10 से 15 वर्ष की आयु और लड़कोंं में 12 से 16 वर्ष में परिवर्तन प्रारंभ हो जाते है लड़कों में टेस्टीज या वृष्णाग्रंथि से पुरूष हार्मोन्स टेस्टॉस्टरोन और लड़कियों मsa Ovary से एस्ट्रोजन और प्रोजोसट्रोन उत्पन्न होते है।

लड़कियों में शारीरिक परिवर्तन :-

  • अचानक शरीर में विकास :- ऊंचाई और वजन में वृद्धि होती है। कुल्हे बड़े होते हे और कमर पतली होती जाती है। शरीर में स्त्री-सुलभ सुडौलता आ जाती है।
  • प्रजनन अंगों का विकास :- योनि/गर्भाशय में वृद्धि होती है।
  • योनि मार्ग से सफेद चिपचिपे द्रव का स्राव होता है। यह स्वाभाविक है।
  • डिम्बकोस क्रियाशील हो जाता है।
  • मासिक धर्म की शुरूआत ।

द्वितीय लैंगिक गुण :-

  • बगल और जनजांगों के आस-पास बाल उगते है।
  • स्तन बडे और विकसत हो जाते है। उनके आकार से दुग्ध निर्माण प्रणाली का कोई संबंध नहीं होता। कभी-कीाी एक स्तन दूसरे से अधिक बड़ा होता है।
  • आवाज पतली होने लगती है।
  • चेहरे पर मुॅंहासे आने लगते है।

लडकों में शारीरिक परिवर्तन :-

  • शरीर की लंबाइ और वजन में वृद्धि होती है। कंधे चौड़े होते है और स्वायु बढ़ने लगते है।
  • प्रजनन अंगों का विकास।
  • लिंग/शिश्न और अण्डकोष का आकार बढ़ने लगता है। उनमें से एक वृषण सामान्य दूसरे से नीचा होता है जो कि एक सामान्य स्थित है।
  • अण्डकोष में शुक्राणुओं का निर्माण होने लगात है।

द्वितीय लैंगिक गुण :-

  • हाथों, पैरों, बगल में, सीने, चेहरे तथा जननांगों के आसपास वाल आ जाते है।
  • दाढ़ी-मूँछ निकलने लगती है।
  • मुँहासे आते है।
  • आवाज भारी हो जाती है।

किशोरावस्था में मानसिक व भावनात्मक परिवर्तन :-

  • कल्पना में लीन होने जाना तथा स्वप्न देखना।
  • विपरीत लिंग के प्रति आकर्षण।
  • यौन उत्तेजना की शुरूवात/काम भावनाओं का जागृत होना।
  • चिडचिड़सवप, चंचलता एवं गुस्सा बढ़ जाना।
  • तनाव, झिझक एवं संकोच महसूस करना।
  • उतावलापन और जोखिम उठाने की प्रवृत्ति विकसित होना
  • दोस्तों से प्रभावित होना।
  • इच्छाओं, नैतिकता, मूल्यों में असमंजस्य पैदा होना।
  • माता-पिता एवं अन्य बड़ों से संबंधों में बदलाव।
  • स्वतंत्रता और जिम्मेदारियों में बदलाव।

किशोरावस्था में सामाजिक परिवर्तन :-

  • पारिवारिक संबंधों में घनिष्ठता कम होने लगती है । माता-पिता और किशोर-किशोरियों के बीच दूरी बढ़ जाती है।
  • सभी की रोक-टोक बुरी लगती है।
  • माता-पिता की अपेक्षा दोस्तों या विपरीत लिंग के दोस्तों को अधिक महत्व दिया जाता है।
  • अपनी पसंद और निर्णयोें में अडिग रहना और अपना लक्ष्य निर्धारित करना।
  • पसंदीदा व्यक्ति और दोस्तों के विचार व जीवन शैली से प्रभावित होना।
  • वयस्कों के सामने अपने को आत्मनिर्भर दर्शाने की कोशिश करना।
  • जीवन मूल्यों व आदर्शो के विषय में भ्रमित होना।

किशोरावस्था के दौरान अभिभावकों को अपने बच्चों से दोस्ताना व्यवहार करना चाहिये। उनसे कुछ बिना छिपायें सारी बातों को जो किशोरावस्था के परिवर्तन से संंबंधित है चर्चा करना चाहिये। यह शरीर के विकास की एक स्वभाविक प्रक्रिया है, उन्हें बताना चाहियें। उन्हें अकेले में नहीं रहने देना चाहिये।

इसके अतिरिक्त शरीर की साफ-सफाई और उनके देखभाल की जानकारी देनी चाहिये। शरीर और बेहतर स्वस्थ्य कैसे रहे इसके लिये संतुलित आहार, खेल-कूद व व्यायाम के विषय में ध्यान देना चाहिये।

किशोरावस्था में अपने साथियों का दबाव होता है जिसके चलते उनके समूह में रहने के लिये अपने दोस्तों की आदतों का अनुकरण करना होता है, अत: दोस्तों की बुरी आदतें किशोर-किशोरियों को जोखिम भरे जीवन में ला सकती है अत: साथियों के दबाव से बचना होगा और अपने विवेक व समझदारी का उपयोग करन करना होगा।

अपने साथियों के दबाव में न आना ना कहना सीखे :-

  • अपनी इच्छा एवं आदर्श का सम्मान करें।
  • अपने निर्णय स्वयं ले।
  • अपनी भावनाओं को समझे और उस पर आस्था रखे।
  • दूसरों द्वारा आप पर हावी होने के प्रयास को पहचाने और उससे बचें।
  • अपनी अनिच्छा को शब्दों के अतिरिक्त भी प्रदर्शित करना सीखें।
  • आत्मविश्वास रखे और जब ’’न’’ कहना हो तो ’’न’’ कहने का आनंद लें।

’’ना’’ कहने के तरीके :-

  • नम्रतापूर्वक मना करना।
  • कारण बताकर इंकार करना।
  • अपने इंकार को दुहराना।
  • अपने स्थान से हट जाना।
  • अनसुना करना।
  • ऐसी परिस्थिति में ही न पड़ना जहां अनुचित दबाव हो।
  • ऐसे साथी को ढूंढना जो आपका समर्थन करें।
  • अपनी भावनाओं के बारे में चर्चा करना।
  • साथियों के दबाव के कारण :-
  • समूह में शामिल होने के लिये ।
  • ध्यान आकर्षित करने के लियs
  • प्रसिद्वि या चर्चित होने के लिये
  • दोस्त बनाने के लिये
  • तुरन्त आनंद प्राप्त करने के लिये
  • घर में तथा विद्यालय में उचित स्नेह व प्रशंसा न मिलने पर, इस आवश्यकता की पूर्ति दोस्तों द्वारा करने के लिये।
  • अपने विद्रोही विचारों हेतु श्रोता प्राप्त करने के लिये।
  • अपने विद्रोही विचारों हेतु श्रोता प्राप्त करने के लिये।

साथियों के दबाव में आने के कारण को पहचान कर उसका निषेध करना उचित होता है।

Jan 2011 21

किशोरावस्था (10-19 वर्ष) वाल्यावस्था और वयस्कता के बीच की नाजुक अवस्था है । इस अवस्था में उत्तेजना, साहस, भावुकता और काम के प्रति उत्सुकता स्वाभाविक रूप से उत्पन्न होती है। यदि इस अवस्था में होने वाले परिवर्तनों को सही तरीके से नहीं समझा जाये तो किशोर किशोरियाँ गलत रास्ते या भटकाव भरे जीवन में जा सकते है। अत: यौन शिक्षा के माध्यम से किशोरों को किशोरावस्था में होने वाले शारीरिक, मानसिक व भावनात्मक तथा सामाजिक परिवर्तनों, यौन एवं यौन संक्रमित रोगों की वैज्ञानिक जानकारी दी जाना आवश्यक है। जिससे उनका शरीर स्वस्थ्य रहे और वे अज्ञानता और भ्रमों से बच सकें।
प्रजनन स्वास्थ्य क्या हैं ?

आमतौर पर प्रजनन स्वास्थ्य का मतलब है, प्रजनन से संबंध रखने वाले सभी मामलों एवं अंगों का सही काम करना तथा उनके स्वस्थ्य रहने से है। साथ ही प्रजनन स्वास्थ्य में संतोषजनक और सुरक्षित लैंगिक जीवन, शिशु प्रसवन क्षमता और इस संबंध में स्वेच्छा से कब और कितने अंतराल पर ऐसा किया जाये, यह निर्णय लेने की स्वतंत्रता शामिल है।

प्रजनन क्या हैं ?

सभी सजीव प्रजनन करते हैं। प्रजनन को उस प्रक्रिया के रूप में परिभाषित किया जा सकता है जिसके द्वारा कोई जीव अपनी जाति को बनाये रखता है। स्त्री और पुरूष प्रजनन प्रणाली का अंतर प्रजनन चक्र में प्रत्येक व्यक्ति की भूमिका के कार्य निष्पादन पर आधारित है।

मानव प्रजनन प्रक्रिया में दो तरह की लिंग कोशिकाएं संबद्ध है : पुरूष (शुक्राणु) और स्त्री (डिम्ब)। स्वस्था और लैंगिक दृष्टि से परिपक्व पुरूष लगातार शुक्राणु पैदा करते है। जब एक युवती स्त्री 12 या 13 वर्ष की तरूणावस्था को प्राप्त कर लेती है तो प्रत्येक 28 दिन के बाद उसे डिम्वाशय एकांतर रूप से एक डिम्ब विस्तृत करते करते है । यह प्रक्रिया तब तक चलती रहती है जब तक स्त्री का मासिक धर्म समाप्त नहीं हो जाता, सामान्यत: 50 वर्ष की उम्र तक।

स्त्री को अपने डिम्ब के गर्भधारण के लिए एक पुरूष की आवश्यकता होती है। शुक्राणु और डिम्ब, स्त्री की गर्भाशय नली में मिलते है और एक नये व्यक्ति की रचना आरंभ करते है। इसके बाद स्त्री उस संतान को गर्भावस्था से शिशुजन्म तक धारण करती है।

पुरूष और स्त्री के प्रजनन अंग और उनके कार्य -
पुरूष के प्रजनन अंग
शिश्न (लिंग)(Penis)
पेशाव नली (मूल नलिका) (Urethra)
अंडकोष (Testes)
अंडकोश की थैली (Scrotum)
वीर्य नलिका
वीर्यकोष(Seminal Vesicles)

शिश्न (लिंग) :-
यह पुरूषों का वह अंग है, जो संभोग क्रियसा में कार्य करता है । इसमें मूत्र विसर्जन और वीर्यस्खलन का द्वार होता है ये दो क्रियाएं अलग-अलग समय पर ही हो सकती है। हर व्यक्ति के शिश्न की लंबाई अलग-अलग होती है, किन्तु इससे इसके कार्य का कोई संबंध नहीं होता।

मूत्र नलिका :-
शिश्न के अंदर एक पतली नली होती है, जो मूत्र नलिका या पेशाब की नली कहलाती है। इसके दो कार्य होते है। पहला संभोग के समय वीर्य का स्खलन और दूसरा शरीर से पेशाव निकलना।

अंडकोष :-
यह उसे गोलागार पिण्ड है। इनमें शुक्राणु बनते है, इसमें एक ग्रंथि होती है, ये ग्रंथियां पुरूष के खास हारमोन्स (एक प्रकार के रासायनिक पदार्थ) भी बनाती है। यह पुरूषों में पुरूषत्व वाले गुण पैदा करती है। जैसे-ढाढ़ी, मूँछ के बाल उगना, आवाज का भारी होना, आदि इन्हीं हारमोन्स के कारण होता है। इसका विस्तार विवरण किशोरावस्था में होने वाले परिवर्तन के पृष्ठ में है।

अंडकोष की थैली :-
यह एक थैली होती है, जिसमें दोनों अंडकोष रहते है। यह शिश्न के पीछे तथा दोनों तरफ स्थित होती है।

वीर्य नलिकाएँ :-
यह संख्या में दो होती है दोनों अंडकोशों से एक-एक नलिका निकलती है और जाकर पेशाब की नली से मिल जाती है। यह नलिकाएॅं अंडकोष में बनने वाले शुक्राणु को पेशाब की नली तक ले जाती है। यह शरीर के अंदर होती है इसलिये बाहर से दिखाई नहीं देती। पुरूष में पेशाब और वीर्य को बाहर लाने का एक ही रास्ता है जबकि स्त्रियों में ऐसा नहीं होता उनके प्रजनन अंगों की संरचना अलग होती है।

पोस्ट्रेट ग्रंथी :-
इन ग्रंथियों में शुक्राणुओं के लिये द्रव होता है। यह शुक्राणुओं को पौस्टिक द्रव देती है। जो शुक्राशय में होता है।

स्त्री के प्रजनन अंग -

भगशिशन (Clitoris)
योनि (Vagina)
योनि माग Z (Cervix)
गर्भाशय (Uterus)
डिम्ब नलिका (Fallopian Tube)
डिम्ब कोष

भगशिश्न :-
यह स्त्रियों के गुप्त अंग का एक बाहरी भाग है, यह छोटा, गोल-सा मटर के दाने के बराबर मांसपिंड होता है, जो पेशाब की नली के सुराख (छिद्र) के ऊपर होता है। यह संभोग के समय अत्यंत संवेदनशील हो जाता है और उत्तेजना पैदा करने का कार्य करता हैं।

योनि :-
योनि योनिद्वार के छिद्र बीच में उपस्थित होता है। एक ओर पेशाव के रास्ते और गुदा के बीच में योनिद्वार होता है। योनि एक झिल्लीयुक्त रास्ता है यह एक और तो बाहर की तरफ खुलता है, और दूसरी ओर गर्भाशय की गर्दन तक पहुंचता है योनि बहुत ही लचीली होती है इसका कार्य है, शिशु का जन्म तथा संभोग क्रिया।

योनि के कार्य :-
संभोग के दौरान पुरूष उत्तेजित शिश्न और वीर्य को प्राप्त करती है।
अशिशु जन्म के दौरान स्त्री के शरीर से शिशु के बाहर निकलने का रास्ता है।
मासिक स्राव के दौरान स्त्री के गर्भाशय से रक्तस्त्राव को शरीर से बाहर निकलने का रास्ता देती है।

योनि मार्ग :-
यह एक रास्ता या नाल है जो यानिक से गर्भाशय तक जाता है, और गर्भाशय के निचले हिस्से की रचना करता है।

गर्भाशय :-
यह मांसपेशियों से बना नाशपाती के आकार का एक खोखला अंग है। इसकी दीवारें बहुत मजबूत होती है। इसके अदर झिल्ली की एक तह (परत) होती है। जिसे एन्ड्रोमीट्रियम (Endometrium) कहते है। मासिक धर्म के समय झिल्ली की यह परत नष्ट होकर रक्त के साथ गिर जाती है और हर माह गर्भाशय एक नई परत बनाता है। गर्भावस्था में शिशु गर्भाशय के अंदर बनता और बढ़ता एवं नौ माह उपरांत शिशु का जन्म होता है। गर्भाशय की लंबाई 7.5 सेमी और चौड़ाई 5 सेमी. होती है।

डिम्ब नलिका :-
इन्हें डिम्ब नाल या बीज नाल भी कहा जाता है। यह दो होती है, स्त्री की डिम्ब इन्हीं नालों (Fallopian Tube) से होकर गर्भाशय में आती है।

डिम्बकोष:-
यह दो अंडाकार ग्रंथियॉं है। इनसे एस्ट्रोजन और प्रोजोसट्रोन नाम के दो हारमोन्स निकलते है जो स्त्रियों का खास हारमोन्स है। डिम्बकोष बारी-बारी हर महिने एक डिम्ब (अण्डाणु) पैदा करता है। यह डिम्ब डिम्बनाल के चौंडे कीप जैसे मुॅंह द्वारा अंदर ले लिया जाता है। यहॉं से यह गर्भाशय की ओर चल पड़ता है। यह प्रक्रिया डिम्ब-उत्सर्ग कहलाती है। इस यात्रा में अगर डिम्ब पुरूष के शुक्राणु से मिलता है तो स्त्री का गर्भ ठहर जाता है। डिम्ब और शुक्राणु का मिलन संभाग द्वारा होता है।

<!--:en-->15 Things About My Sexuality<!--:--><!--:hi-->यौनिकता शिक्षा: युवा पीढी की जरुरत<!--:-->
Dec 2010 17

  1. I’m a 21yr old female and I am straight. I think. Maybe I am bi curious. I have the right to explore my own sexuality as long as I’m responsible about it so I still haven’t decided.
  2. At age 8 I got my first kiss, through a raja rani game from a 12 yr old boy who knew what he was doing I am sure, but I did not.
  3. At age 9-10 I was molested by my karate master and because I did not know what was right touch and wrong touch he used to … play with me as a special reward for my good performances. I liked it. And I hated myself when I found out what he was really doing.
  4. I got called a slut because I used to speak to boys. Because I dated ONE boy. That was the society then.
  5. I had sex, because I had this underlying deep seated need to be held, loved, to be told I was beautiful or amazing… because of certain things that happened during my childhood that had affected my self esteem, I  think.
  6. Sex is something I discovered slowly. Even in school most girls did not know anything and I would tell them everything about it.
  7. Masturbation was completely by accident. And I do it nearly everyday. I have been quite open about my sex life and I’d like to describe myself as a very sexual person.
  8. I am open about my sexuality and get very misunderstood about it.
  9. I didn’t use condoms before. I have had abortions. And I’ve realized what a huge mistake I made.
  10. I only realized there was something called cervical cancer a year ago and it scares me to death.
  11. I still don’t have a place I could safely go get a pap smear without someone else knowing. My abortions were in smaller clinics and all hush hush. and i will never live it down.
  12. The relationship I am in right now was initially emotionally abusive but things have changed now because I stood up for myself.
  13. I think sex-ed is important and people should love their bodies, love themselves so they can be in fulfilling relationships.
  14. My sexuality has always been judged, misinterpreted and surprised many people including my most accepting friends.
  15. We  need to stand up for our sexuality because it is so important in us and somewhere along the line we lost its value and it got degraded we have to be strong enough to be ourselves…in all our glory and all our mistakes. Not be judged but be accepted. We need to know everything about our body because it is our birthright. It is mine and I take it.

Anonymous, 21, Chennai

यौनिकता इन्सान होने का बहुत महत्वपुर्ण अंश है। यौनिकता केवल हमारे शरीर ही नहीं, उसके साथ हमारी समझ, विचार, स्वभाव, संस्कार, आस्था, विश्वास, शारीरिक आनन्द, इतिहास, धर्म, समाज एवं  आर्थिक स्थिति का समावेश है।

सबको अपनी यौनिकता चुनने का अधिकार है क्योंकि हम सब अलग है, विभिन्न है जिसके वजह से हमारी समाज मे एक पहचान हैं। समाज को किसी की उम्र, लिंग, जाति, गोत्र, यौनिकता, धर्म के आधार पर भेद-भाव नहीं करनी चाहिए। चाहे कोई परलैंगिक, द्विलैंगिक या समलैंगिक हो इस मे शर्माने या हिचकिचाने की जरूरत नहीं होती, सभी को अपनी जिंदगी अपने तरीके से जीने का जन्मसिद्ध अधिकार है।

यौनिकता शिक्षा एक व्यक्ति के युवा जीवन का एक ऐसा अंग है जिसके बिना वह अधूरा है। युवा मन मे ऐसे अनेक सवाल उठते है जिसका कोई जवाब नहीं देता और माता, पिता और शिक्षिक केवल इतना कहते है कि अभी वह बहुत छोटे है और उन्हें ऐसी बातों के बारे मे सोचना नहीं चाहिए, इस से ना तो वह कुछ समझ पाते है और बड़े होते हुए उनमे यौनिकता एवं यौन क्रिया के प्रति भय एवं जिज्ञासा उत्पन्न होती है।

युवा पीढी को जरूरत है कि उन्हें कोई यौन रोग और यौन अत्याचार के बारे मे जानकारी दे। युवक/युविकाओं को समझना होगा कि उनका शरीर केवल उनका है और किसी को भी उनसे बिना पूछे उन्हें छुने का हक नहीं है। इसके साथ ही उन्हें अपने इच्छाओं को समझना होगा और उसके परिणामों के बारें मे सोचना होगा। इसी कारण उन्हें इन विषयों पर शिक्षा मिलनी चाहेए।

यौनिकता और युवा शिक्षा साथ साथ चलते है। युवा पीढी को अपनी जिंदगी कैसे जीनी है ये उन पर निर्भर है लेकिन उन्हें अपने निश्चय का नतीजा जानना आवश्यक है।