’15 things about my sexuality’
1) I don’t know what sexuality means. For me its my sexual state of mind. Or of body.
2) I am gay. Lesbian. Bisexual. Trans sexual. Pan sexual and straight. My sexuality changes everyday, hate the above mentioned words, I don’t like labels. I am all of the above and none of the above also. If you can like a different color everyday then why not sexual preference ?
3) I would love to call myself a sexual person even though I haven’t had sex ever. Sexuality and sex are different.
4) I became sexually active when I was 12 , with my first boyfriend. That was my first kiss, I don’t remember how it happened and why it happened.
5) I was molested when I was 15 by my science tutor. I was so upset that I could never tell my parents about it for a month and when I did it was worse. I did not let anyone touch me for 1 year after that.
6) I was in a 5 year long violent relationship with a man I loved – I never had the balls to get out of it, or stand up for myself. I never understood that verbal and physical abuse could mean violence. Now, I wish I go back in time and believe in myself more.
7) Boobs are the best part of my body, its also something people call me.
My entire school life till the 11th grade I was called a ‘whore’- because I would speak to guys and date them.
9) I believe in one night stands and I believe in relationships. I have had both, they remain special.
10) I watch porn, I like it. I am very open out it. The sophisticated people call it ‘yuck’. They don’t understand how porn can give you pleasure. Guess what? They don’t NEED to.
11) I believe in sex work. I prostitute my brain in my work place, there is nothing wrong in doing the same with you body.
12) If I get lots of money I will sleep with someone if they are hot and rich- no this isn’t for only money. You need feel pleasure in the work you do. And I like sex, a lot.
13) People try really hard not to judge me, to understand me and then they misinterpret me. Yes, the open minded people too. The open who claim to accept different sexuality and the same ones who talk about it.
14) In my past relationships, both with men and women I have been forced to have sex. But after the incidents mentioned above taught me how to say no.
15) You don’t define how I think, how I look, how I feel. I can think like a girl, look like a boy and feel think about both. I define my sexuality- I make it, change it, feel it, believe it and accept it.
Anonymous, 20, Delhi